001
Quantum Todo List
Tasks exist in a superposition of done and not done until your manager observes them.
RustPhysicsDenial
status: both
// hello, world. also hello, you.
GUILLAUMEBARIL
> Software Developer_
click anywhere. you know you want to.
01 / who dis
ABOUT
GB
Hi, I'm Guillaume.
I build things for the web. This site is not one of those things — it's a 60-frames-per-second cry for attention.
Every effect here is hand-crafted, GPU-accelerated and completely, magnificently useless. You came for a name and an email address. You're getting fireworks.
0lines of code to display a name
0useful features (independently audited)
0target GPU utilization
0cups of coffee mid-render
02 / alleged skills
SKILLS
A rotating 3D sphere of skills. Because a bulleted list was too readable.
03 / selected works
WORK
002
AI-Powered Light Switch
Uses four GPUs and a transformer model to decide between on and off. 51% accuracy.
PythonCUDAHubris
status: thinking
003
Blockchain Toaster
Every slice is minted on-chain. Toast is immutable. Crumbs are gas fees.
SolidityBread
status: burnt
004
This Website
A WebGL shader, a particle engine and a 3D sphere, all so you can read a name. Peak engineering.
WebGLCanvasWhy
status: you're on it
03½ / mandatory buzzword tunnel
velocity0buzzwords/s
synergy0%
distance to singularity∞
scroll to accelerate
Your browser can't do WebGL, so please imagine a tunnel made of buzzwords ending in a black hole. A really good one.
04 / telemetry nobody asked for
LIVE
frames / second60
particles alive0
fireworks launched0
time wasted here0:00.0
energy burned (est.)0.000 Wh
usefulness0%
limewire download97.0%sk8er_boi_FULL_VERSION(1).mp3.exe2 days remaining
tamagotchi statusdeceased 🪦since a school trip in 1998
y2k readiness100%bunker stocked · canned beans: 340
06 / my old homepage (restored from a floppy)
1998
🚧 UNDER CONSTRUCTION 🚧since 1998 · do not enter · seriously
~*~ WeLcOmE 2 mY HoMePaGe ~*~
Thanks 4 visiting!!! ☆ Don't forget 2 sign my guestbook!!! ☆ Bookmark this page (Ctrl+D)!!! ☆ This site is best viewed with your eyes ☆ Thanks 4 visiting!!! ☆ Don't forget 2 sign my guestbook!!! ☆ Bookmark this page (Ctrl+D)!!! ☆ This site is best viewed with your eyes ☆
You are visitor #
NEW!
Hi!!! I'm Guillaume and this is my corner of the World Wide Web. I like computers, my Discman, and making websites in Notepad.
My favorite things: burning mix CDs, Snake on my 3310 (high score: 2,371), asking AltaVista things Jeeves couldn't answer, and staying up late on dial-up when nobody needs the phone.
800×600best viewed
Notepadmade with
Y2Kcompliant
HTML 3.2valid-ish
NOframes
56Kfriendly*
@ E-MaIl Me!!!
or find me on mIRC: /server irc.dal.net → /join #guillaume → nick GuiLLauMe^ (lag: 14s · pings: timed out)
00:00
*** 1. guillaume - theme_song_FINAL_v2(1).mid (2:56) *** 2. jean_leloup - 1990.mid (3:21) *** 128kbps 44kHz stereo ***
📖 My Guestbook
- dialup_dave 11/09/1998page took 14 minutes to load. worth it.
- N30_th3_0n3 12/31/1999if u can read this the y2k bug didnt get us
- xX_SkAtErBoI_Xx 03/14/2001kewl site!!! check out mine on angelfire
- ~*~PrInCeSs~*~ 07/22/2003omg ur music player is so cute. adding u 2 my top 8 <3
- Tom 09/01/2005Thanks for the add!
- dschrute 10/12/2005Fact: this site has been accessed from Schrute Farms. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.
- lolcat 04/01/2007I CAN HAS GUESTBOOK?
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secret cheat codes (you found them!): iddqd · idkfa · motherlode · hadouken · whiterabbit · y2k · comic · xyzzy · win98 · asl · mirc · 12345 · schwartz · pickles · abacabb · and press “Do not press” ten times
07 / say hi
CONTACT
Got a project? A job? A strong opinion about particle counts? Just click the button. Easy.